August 28, 2010

Dear You,

I’m very hurt.

You set me aside when you felt like it. I didn’t have a say in the decision. You didn’t think how it would affect me. You didn’t wonder how I would cope, or whether I could have need of you in this time.

You just set a dead line, and told me we wouldn’t be talking till then. A dead line that suited you, your circumstances and your needs.

And you didn’t even do this over the phone. With one little text, you created all these walls.

Remember when I asked you if we could take a break? I asked. I wanted us to discuss it. And you got pissed over it. I respected your wishes. You did not even consider me. It’s not as if you distanced yourself from everyone. It’s just me.

Sometimes I think love isn’t anything but habit. I have an urge to contact you, and I’m pulling back. Because this is what you asked for. Because I’m hanging on to my self-respect, and I’m not going to butt in where I’m not wanted or needed.


I’m not being selfish here. I totally understand that you need space; these exams are important. Had you ‘discussed’ this with me, I would never have said no.

As it is, you made me feel like The Problem. The one you seek to distance yourself from when the pressure builds. You make me wonder how often this is going to happen.

Because, in time, I will grow more dependent on you. I will hurt more.

Regards,
Me.