Na deed hai na suk'han, ab na harf hai na payaam
Ko’ii bhii heela-e-taskeeN nahiiN aur aas bahut hai
Umeed-e-yaar, nazar kaa mizaaj, dard kaa rang
Tum aaj kuch bhi na pucho ke dil udaas bahut hai
You've finally left.
It's so strange: To have mattered so much for so long, and then to not matter at all. All these years I lived for "us". Every nuance, every shade of life, every scent was colored by "us". Every dream I dreamt, every emotion, every milestone; I associated it all with you. You were what held my life together. You were my rock: I depended on you so much, I forgot how to depend on my own self. I didn't even realize I was doing it, but I cut away from every other circle. I left debating, I forgot theatre, I abandoned my friends. Nothing mattered but "us".
I'm lost. I don't know how to deal with being on my own. I changed so much, in the last three years. I changed so I'd fit into "us". Now that there is no "us", I don't fit in anywhere. This not fitting in really hurts. I don't belong any more. And you don't belong to me. That hurts too.
I'll always hate September. I wish I could hate you.
[A rough translation in prose:
There is nothing to give me hope any more: no action or comfort, no word or message. There is nothing that would satisfy me, yet hope and need abounds.
Expectations of my lover, expressive eyes, the color of pain: Ask naught today, for my heart hurts much.
p.s. My apologies to Faiz
p.p.s. can someone come up with a better translation for "umeed-e yaar"? ]
Ko’ii bhii heela-e-taskeeN nahiiN aur aas bahut hai
Umeed-e-yaar, nazar kaa mizaaj, dard kaa rang
Tum aaj kuch bhi na pucho ke dil udaas bahut hai
You've finally left.
It's so strange: To have mattered so much for so long, and then to not matter at all. All these years I lived for "us". Every nuance, every shade of life, every scent was colored by "us". Every dream I dreamt, every emotion, every milestone; I associated it all with you. You were what held my life together. You were my rock: I depended on you so much, I forgot how to depend on my own self. I didn't even realize I was doing it, but I cut away from every other circle. I left debating, I forgot theatre, I abandoned my friends. Nothing mattered but "us".
I'm lost. I don't know how to deal with being on my own. I changed so much, in the last three years. I changed so I'd fit into "us". Now that there is no "us", I don't fit in anywhere. This not fitting in really hurts. I don't belong any more. And you don't belong to me. That hurts too.
I'll always hate September. I wish I could hate you.
[A rough translation in prose:
There is nothing to give me hope any more: no action or comfort, no word or message. There is nothing that would satisfy me, yet hope and need abounds.
Expectations of my lover, expressive eyes, the color of pain: Ask naught today, for my heart hurts much.
p.s. My apologies to Faiz
p.p.s. can someone come up with a better translation for "umeed-e yaar"? ]
4 comments:
I don't know what to say.
I hope you feel better soon. :]
Beautifully written.Well expressed.I am speechless.
=)
November. Friday the 13th. Irony at its finest. I find out everything was a lie.
The world crashes down around me, in front of me and on me.
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