I'm a fighter. Yes I am. But sometimes, you just get tired of fighting and wish you'd get something good from life without having to work so hard for it. You wish you'd get something easily. So many people do. Why does everything have to be so complicated?
Some of us lose our rose tinted glasses early in life, and grow up too fast. Once you stop being a kid, it's just the same old thing over and over and over again. You look around with your cynical eyes and you recognize the patterns: the same hurt, the same pain, the same bloody vicious cycle. You realize there's nothing at all glamorous about anything in life. It's all a grand theatrical performance, and we don't have the script, but there's nothing new to the plot.
Yet, we're taken in every time. Average life expectancy is sixty years, generally. Half this time is enough to absolutely tire you of everything.
It disillusions you so much. You trust neither your own emotions, nor any one else's expressions. It all seems to be a sham. There are no dreams left, because you're afraid you'll get hurt if you let your self dream; if you let yourself hope; if you have expectations from people. There's nothing to look forward to in life. And there's no one you can blame.
Nobody ever promised me a rose garden.
May, 2007.
[Inspiration: "I never promised you a rose garden. I never promised you perfect justice and I never promised you peace or happiness. My help is so that you can be free to fight for all of those things. The only reality I offer is challenge, and being well is being free to accept it or not at whatever level you are capable. I never promise lies, and the rose-garden world of perfection is a lie . . ."]
3 comments:
life often gives us bitterness
keep hope, it'll make sure u stay sweet on idealistic visions
sometimes u r surprised to see somethings, rather some feelings that u thought u would never share, that u would never let the world know about expressed by someone else, because u never thought u could share them with anyone, cz can anyone really understand them? cz u think no human can actually look inside u to really understand wt and why r u saying something but most of all because may be its not something to be shared with humans after all, u think probably its just between u and Him, its a secret which u share wid Him only, cz u feel only He can understand, and u still want to wait for the answers from Him, probably you still want to have that hope there , i feel i can never lose hope cz if i lose it i will lose everything, i will lose Him,no, i can't, and this thought makes u strong again u say ok lets see how far can it go, cz at the end of the day He's there watching us knowing us how we r from inside, hw injured r we , how close we feel we r to tht limit of breaking, and you think why r u being so impatient , this life hasn't finished yet, the climax of this story hasn't reached yet, when He says that always keep good hopes then why not, fine sometimes u feel like u r jus gonna break but u havnt yet, right, somehow He always manages to keep u go on (and only He knows ur limits u don’t), i mean when one is asking these questions or having these thoughts doesn't one also feel a little guilty of not knowing enough and having these thoughts, we dunno wt the end is, we dunno why has He made us go through all tht we have uptill now, we dunno wt Has he planned for us, may be He wants us to reach Him like this, may b He wants us to relaize and understand the nothingness of everything else before we realize the reality of 'Him', i dunno these are all my thoughts but then again i have hope that atleast something will happen, fine this life is nothing but just a big test having so many hurdles at every turn and sometimes u feel at every inch, but may b its through these hurdles that He wants to protect us from life itself, from getting involved in it so much that we forget its emptiness, i dunno if its true fr u or not but after having a phase of these depressive thoughts there always comes a thought in my mind tht i think at the end i will be the one who will be thanking Him for making me go through all of this and feeling all foolish and embarrassed, and u knw tht thought makes me feel happy and relieved :-) that i really want to feel foolish and embarrassed for thinking all this , don't we all want tht?
(P.S sorry for this irregular style of writing probably u would hav realized by now that I never planned to write this its jus a reaction to what I read and then wt I thought after reading it I tried to put in words and that I m not writer type at all )
It's hope that keeps us going, and the belief that there is some one bigger than us, greater than our whole world, who'll be there for us when push comes to shove.
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