Another April is almost upon us, and when I look back, I wonder what I should do.
No doubt, the journey was something I would not have missed. I got so much I never imagined I'd get. I belonged. I liked that. There was appreciation (at least in the beginning). All those heady experiences. I had a rock to cling to. I had support. I had promises.
I began to trust. I thought it would never be taken from me.
It has changed me in a thousand ways, not all of them positive. When the 'old' me looks at the 'new' me, I barely recognize myself. This is not what I signed up for, this isn't what I wanted.
If I could, I'd quit in a trice. If I didn't care. If I could stand not having my dreams come true. If I could stand knowing I'm a quitter.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't had those dreams at all.
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