When I was nine years old, I acted in a television serial. I was this little girl who's sent to live in Pakistan, without her family. Her parents are in Canada, where her mother is undergoing treatment for cancer. Then her mother expires, and her father comes back too. The serial, among other stories, followed the course of her life getting used to living without her mother, and later, how she sets up her father with her teacher.
For the most part, there was tragedy. I had to cry a lot. When I came to live alone. When I missed my mother, and when she died. The scene where my father comes back and we meet for the first time after my mothers death was my favorite. I remember I was crying so much, I could not stop myself to deliver my dialogues.
Yup, I did all of the crying myself. No glycerin, or any such crutch. My mum taught me how to do it. Before the shooting started, she took me to a number of her friends, people who'd lost a parent to cancer. And they told me how it was towards the end, what they saw, heard, and felt. And mum told me to absorb all of that.
She told me to recall it when I needed to call up those same emotions. Mum taught me how to put myself in that precise place, and imagine how I'd feel if it was actually happening to me. So I'd think, and feel. And deliver.
My first (and only) TV serial, I was awarded the regional PTV award, and nominated for the Nationals.
Why am I telling you all of this? As a disclaimer.
I write when I'm upset about something. When I'm in the grip of some strong emotion. So it comes out exactly like that: emotional. It does not mean I have a death wish, or I'm aimless, or that I need severe counseling. We're all lonely sometimes. We all get depressed.
I'm just thinking, and imagining, and feeling; and whatever I feel, I'm expressing it in my medium of choice: words.
It's not all make-believe. It's not all real. But then, how can we ever differentiate? =]
For the most part, there was tragedy. I had to cry a lot. When I came to live alone. When I missed my mother, and when she died. The scene where my father comes back and we meet for the first time after my mothers death was my favorite. I remember I was crying so much, I could not stop myself to deliver my dialogues.
Yup, I did all of the crying myself. No glycerin, or any such crutch. My mum taught me how to do it. Before the shooting started, she took me to a number of her friends, people who'd lost a parent to cancer. And they told me how it was towards the end, what they saw, heard, and felt. And mum told me to absorb all of that.
She told me to recall it when I needed to call up those same emotions. Mum taught me how to put myself in that precise place, and imagine how I'd feel if it was actually happening to me. So I'd think, and feel. And deliver.
My first (and only) TV serial, I was awarded the regional PTV award, and nominated for the Nationals.
Why am I telling you all of this? As a disclaimer.
I write when I'm upset about something. When I'm in the grip of some strong emotion. So it comes out exactly like that: emotional. It does not mean I have a death wish, or I'm aimless, or that I need severe counseling. We're all lonely sometimes. We all get depressed.
I'm just thinking, and imagining, and feeling; and whatever I feel, I'm expressing it in my medium of choice: words.
It's not all make-believe. It's not all real. But then, how can we ever differentiate? =]
5 comments:
Make-believe...not make-belief. :) So you were the 'M' who posted on the DWL blog. Your blog's been added to the blogroll, fyi. Just thought I'd drop in and let you know.
Thank you, I've made the appropriate corrections. =]
i don't know why...but your story reminds me of things which although very very personal...now seem universal all of a sudden. we all feel lonely at times.....but it is how we recuperate and learn a better lesson that matters in the end...
i think i remember the drama. is that the one with nadia khan in it? wait BANDHAN :D
I think we're always lonely. =]
Yes, Bandhan. =]
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